Starting my journey

One of my last post one of my goals was to start eating healthier and exercising again. So here is where I am starting that journey. I am getting real here. I am not hiding it in the shadows. I am not going to sugar coat where I am. I am being real because I know I am not the only one out there who hates where we are. I am one those who is just in the middle of what people see as acceptable. You look at someone like me and either you want to hate me because I feel fat and you think I am not or whatever it is you want to think of me. Just know that I am human and I see what I see each time I look in the mirror.

 I would prefer to believe my scale is lying than to think I have let myself get to where I am at. But I know that I have chosen to allow myself to get where I am. From someone who use to make sure she did not gain weight… Hell gaining weight use to scare the hell out of me, but now it seems like I do not care. Now I know I am not fat even though by rights I am considered “overweight” because of how short I am. So in my last blog post I mentioned how I was going to start making changes to my diet and exercise. Well I have managed to get 1 run in and I have drunk more water but not as much as I had planned to. I have not drunk any pop, but I have drunk wine a few times which is worse.

So I told you would do all that fun stuff of weighing myself which I am the heaviest I have ever been outside of pregnancy…. I am starting this journey at 150.1 pounds which puts my BMI at 27.4. I am only 5’2” so according to all those fun calculators out there I should weigh 101 to 136 pounds and since my goal is 130 to 135 pounds I would be within that range, barely. Now my goal for April is not to get to that 135 pounds but I would like to lose about 5 pounds in this month so that gives me 20 days to lose that 5 pounds.

I took my measurements too because we know not all weight loss will reflect on the scale but it can reflect in how we look and our measurements. I am going to say since I put down my weight and measurements to start the year I have put on weight and inches which is going the wrong way of course. Actually in three months I gained 2.4 pounds which isn’t a lot but not the way I want to go. I have also gained about 3.5 inches. In the last year I have gained 5.6 pounds and approximately six inches. Doing these calculations scares me honestly.

I have had four kids with three of them being by C-section and I use to have an almost flat stomach after having those babies. Hell before kids I was lucky if I weighed like 100 pounds but since my oldest is 24 and my youngest is 7 I know those days are long gone. And honestly I would not want to be that 100 pound girl I was. I am proud of the woman I have become even with the weight gain. My body has carried four kids to term, it has suffered three miscarriages and for that I would not want to go back.

Back in 2010 time frame I started doing Beachbody workouts and shakes. That kicked my butt into gear at one point. I almost had a six-pack going on. I was in the best shape of my life and I was smoking. I felt great and I was proud of who I was. I was not ashamed of my body like I am now.

I took some pictures too and it made me want to cry. I quit smoking at the end of 2013 and picked up running at the beginning of 2014, but mid to the end of 2016 that running passion slowed down. Instead I started drinking more and more. I have used drinking instead of exercise and eating healthy as my escape. I know how we look should not be at the top of our priorities but to me how I look does effect who I am. It effects my mood, my personality, how I think people perceive me and honestly it I feel it can affect me professionally or at least how those I work with may see me as a professional.

This is just the new beginning of my journey. I know that it this is a journey that will take time and I know that I will have ups and downs in it. On Monday I am starting a 90 day challenge. So in that my goals for the next 90 days is to lose 10 pounds and some of the inches. I am not sure of my goal on the inches as I do not know how to plan that. I just want to kick myself back into a routine.  I want to get myself back to bettering myself.  So my plan is to coming back in about a month with lost inches and/or pounds. I am not sure if I will add new pics or not in a month.  But we will definitely see how much of a change I make in 90 days.

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